


Angry and Kind

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Poe Dameron, Fix-It of Sorts, Gray Jedi Kylo Ren, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron’s Underrated Compassion, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24066202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe can be both.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren
Kudos: 13
Collections: Allbingo





	Angry and Kind

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: The Art of Being Kind 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

“I want to see him.” Poe said. He met with Leia, far from the others, in the base on Crait.   
  
Leia stiffened. Then, “Poe, I don’t know if that’s a good idea...”  
  
“I deserve closure, don’t I?” Poe’s voice was rising. “At least don’t I deserve to know why?”  
  
“You do, but — ”  
  
“But what? You couldn’t have at least clued me in that the man I loved was going to put my mind through a shredder? You couldn’t have at least clued me in that you could have saved him, prevented all this, and did nothing?” Poe could swear that it didn’t matter if he was making a scene. Just like with Holdo. Maybe like that, that in a way was born out of love too. He’d mutinied against Holdo because in the end, he’d been scared for other people’s lives. Scared for them, scared that everyone would die. The way he loved people — it wasn’t like flirting with everything that moved. It was more loving them to the point of wanting to move the galaxy for a complete stranger. _It’s the most beautiful thing about you,_ Ben had said. _How you can give and give because you can’t help giving._  
  
And Ben...should he still love Ben? Should he hate him, or at least be angry with him? Poe wished he had some idea, any idea at all. But he could have saved him. Could have rescued him from the pit he was in. Anything.   
  
“I didn’t think you were ready,” Leia said softly.   
  
“Yeah, sure,” Poe snapped. “It would have been your ideal fantasy, wouldn’t it? Me, killing your son. Just shooting him in the head.”  
  
Leia didn’t look like she was about to slap him this time. Instead, she looked hurt.   
  
“Mothers, at least normal mothers, love their children,” Poe said. “My mother did that. I don’t think the idea of loving your own child even _computes_ for you, General.”  
  
He walked away. He didn’t look back at Leia — in spite of himself, he was very sorry, but at the same time there was a need to get that one last jab in.  
  
***  
  
“I’m impressed,” Kylo murmured. His voice sounded different without the mask — he sounded softer, like the Ben that Poe had known and loved so well. The scar Rey had given him was the only thing that differentiated him from the Ben of the past. “I never thought General Organa’s favorite would actually snap at her.”  
  
“Don’t congratulate me,” Poe said. Then, “And you’re not getting off easy either. You hurt me, Ben, in one of the worst ways possible. I thought it was my fault, not being strong enough. I didn’t think you’d...”  
  
Kylo looked pained. “The interrogations never gave me any pleasure.”  
  
“And yet you did them. It’s not the only reason I’m mad. But it’s one of them.” Poe sighed as he spoke. “The girl says you want to form a treaty. That somehow, you took it in exchange for her loyalty.” _And yet I meant nothing to you._  
  
Somehow, he didn’t mind, sitting in that conference room, Kylo hearing it. It was a good thing Rey was talking with Finn, at least, though he pitied Finn.   
  
Kylo sighed. "I might as well tell you why. It doesn’t excuse anything. If anything...you always knew I was weak. It’s just a fact.”  
  
Maybe Kylo was, but not Ben.   
  
“Snoke told me I needed to. I tried to put it off as long as I could...though it didn’t work. It wasn’t enough either. I know that listening to you down the hall, being beaten, hearing you screaming for me...I almost wanted to go with you. To escape with you. I didn’t know if I could. Not after what I did.” A beat. “You’d think even less of me, if that’s possible, if you knew what else I did.”  
  
Poe nodded. He could take Kylo’s word for it. Then again, he doubted he knew what to feel about Kylo. About this man who was somehow the same as Ben.  
  
“He tried manipulating me, and when that failed...” Kylo wasn’t crying. His breathing was, instead, coming in shallow. “He tortured me himself. Not like I did to you. But I can remember the Force Lightning, and him threatening you, and...”   
  
He looked so pale. So afraid, so alone. Poe knew he “should” be angry, “should” hate him. But the idea that Kylo — that Ben — had been in pain while Poe was unable to reach him...  
  
“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “It shouldn’t have happened. I wish I had been there. Just to help you.”  
  
Kylo swallowed. He looked so very alone. “Snoke said you wouldn’t want me after all I’d done.”  
  
“Then he lied.” It wasn’t completely simple. But Poe still loved him. Loved someone who had, long ago, been like an angel to him.   
  
“Yes.” Kylo sighed as he spoke. “The treaty...it won’t be easy. I suppose this is the first decision I’ve made that wasn’t an order from Snoke. Perhaps the first right thing I’ve done. I look at you, though, and I know that it is worth everything. Even if there is no saving me.”  
  
"You have a lot to make up for,” Poe said. “But I turned my life around. You can too.”  
  
Perhaps in some ways they were alike. Different where it really mattered, of course, but similar in some respects. You couldn’t disavow someone who was quite a bit like you. Let alone someone who you loved once...and still did.   
  
“What are you looking for?” Poe said.   
  
“A better vision,” Kylo said. “Without the extreme Light, the extreme Dark. A blend of both. Something without the past. Without the Rebels, the Jedi...anything like that. But without the Sith.” A sigh. “I always wanted to heal the galaxy. Maybe this way I can do it.”  
  
“You think Hux,” and it took all of Poe’s self-restraint not to say “Hugs”, “Is going to agree?”  
  
“I’ll make them,” Kylo said, and for a moment, the old Kylo shone through.   
  
Poe couldn’t help but feel a prickle up his spine.   
  
“The girl’s the first of my new Order. I want her to be in charge of that — and I want you to rule by my side. I thought the girl and I would rule together as Master and apprentice...but I was wrong.”  
  
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Ben could have been more than this. More than what he became. Poe didn’t expect him to become a monster. But to save Ben from himself...  
  
“For you then,” Poe said. _To save you._  
  
If Kylo sensed it — and Poe was still uneasy at the thought — he didn’t say a word.


End file.
